This is super exciting, I'm on testosterone now!!!!!!! WOW!!!!! I've been waiting for this for literal years GODDDD, those who know me know I've needed this and how much i dreamt of it. Like lowkey being a transman without HRT has ruined my life and made me horribly mentally and socially, not to also count into question my neurodivergence hindering me too. I'm so happy for actually doing something to progress myself and it being the #1 thing that will help me stop feeling like shit all the time LMFAOOO
THE LADY AT THE CLINIC WAS SO NICEEEE shes my hrt doctor now and she was so kind Answered a whole bunch of my questions (that i lowk already knew answers too but I wanted to hear out of a professional's mouth than a handful of people on the internet) and made sure i knew the risks accociated w it. Fucking somehow I got my Tgel SAME DAY AS MY APPOINTMENT im so fucking shocked. She didn't even have to take my actual bloodwork just pricked my finger???? IM SO HAPPYYYY and now its been a week!!! No changes that I've noticed yet (maybe a bit of bottom growth and slight oilyness but like??? miniscule if at all) but I'm sooo excited. I cant wait to see how deep my voice gets or how my facial hair grows in especially considering my family's genes. I'm not expecting anything huge for the next 2ish weeks tho the gel is much slower than injections. I would've done the injections if I wasn't scared of needles/most pain lol. ANYWAYS I see her again in a couple months where we fully take my bloodwork and make sure my levels are normal.
I'm kindof kicking myself mentally for not doing this sooner when I turned 18, it was so so easy compared to how I thought it'd go. I was terrified of questions and having to "prove" my transness i guess, especially with how long I ID-ed as non-binary as a teen and being so comfy back then presenting more fem. BUT I did purposefully seek out an Informed Consent clinic so that I would've had less a chance of that happening lol. WHATEVERRR
The past month since scheduleing it has genuinely been just a blur of waiting for this moment, I'm so happy until I start looking how I see myself in my head and I can start actually living MY life. its never been mine before, just a shell of mine's. I've cried out of joy so many times since the 3rd GAWWWD. I've already felt a bit better since, more hopeful and social, less afraid of everything and dissociative. It's sooo nice to not feel like a waste of myself every 2 seconds HEHE. Maybe later on I'll be well and stable enough to try uni again, even if I'm a bit above the usual age to start going kjsdf.
Alsow kinda funny, the thing that pushed me down to finally sit down and schedule my appointment was thanks to this specific vid of Tio's Infected Regretevator. (Open in new tab it dont work otherwise) I NEEEED TO LOOK LIKE HIM AUAUUUGHHHG IM TEARING MY HAIR OUUUUtt. AND THEN. AND THEN I FOUND OUT THAT THE DAY OF MY APPOINTMENT + FIRST DAY ON T WAS. MARCH 3RD. 3/3 WHICH IS THE CHARACTERS DAMN BIRTHDAY LMFAOOOOOO. I don't really know why but seeing that vid (and lowk this one too but the other one was the one I was strangleing myself over) made me just snap and I HAD to schedule my appointment or else.